For some reason, I seem to have a natural inclination towards things that I cannot have. Not material things, necessarily. Even when I have some of those things, I still end up yearning and pining for those that I don’t have, and probably shouldn’t have or wouldn’t have anyway. The change from shouldn’t to wouldn’t because if I really wanted them, I could probably have them, but I can’t make up my mind.
So all the pining and yearning… What does that do? It makes every feature come out alive. Vividly. Distinctly. iMAX Movie. Possibly larger than life.
Which makes me feel rather miserable. Oh, how I wish things were the way I wanted. Then again, it is probably for my best interests that they aren’t the way I would want them to be, since life as we know it would be screwed in so many innumerable ways that I can’t even begin to enumerate them.
I wonder, do they also think in that same way? Or are they entirely different from us, from me?
Is this just an extension of the grass being greener on the other side? Or something more profound, deeper? The way I am wired inside?
I think it is inherently about the challenge. The fun and the intensity that comes with a new challenge. That is the draw. That is what I desire, maybe. (But do I really want it, amidst all the hoopla that’s already there in life? If at all, I would want to relax and enjoying lazing around, waiting for time to slowly run away.) And what happens thereafter? Once the objective of the challenge is achieved, and it no longer remains a challenge, will it all wilt away? Should it be allowed to wilt away?
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Random arbit stuff. Even I’m not sure what I was aiming at – readers might want to ignore.
