Today is the last day of my first month as a full time employee at Atos Origin India Pvt. Ltd. And it’s a mixed bag.
(Of course, what isn’t?)
Yes, it is comfortable, if not luxurious, the people are nice, if not extremely good (there are a few nut cases, but they can be ignored), but…
But, there’s so much more that life should be.
It’s not like I won’t enjoy what I’d do at Atos. The training, however, is a super-duper waste of time. Partly because, I already know most of the stuff, and, there’s no one I can look up to in my training batch. I’ve sort of become the-know-all.
Now this is sad. Because I know that I’m not. And yet, I can’t do anything about it. I cannot exactly pursue what I want to do, because it would be inappropriate, and they don’t understand that my time, and therefore company resources are being wasted. I don’t know if I’ve doubted my decision of taking up Electrical ever all this much.
Another major issue is that I know that AOI isn’t going to be my life. I already feel sort of suffocated there. It’s the same old things. Sure, opportunities exist. And I will grab them, but the thing is, how much should I dedicate to them?
I fear that I’m losing my long term goals while trying to accomplish the near ones. 
Or having the concept of long term goals, altogether.
Or having the concept of long term goals, altogether.Bloody pseudo-complacency. And yet the dissatisfaction.