Today is the last day of my first month as a full time employee at Atos Origin India Pvt. Ltd. And it’s a mixed bag.
(Of course, what isn’t?)
Yes, it is comfortable, if not luxurious, the people are nice, if not extremely good (there are a few nut cases, but they can be ignored), but…
But, there’s so much more that life should be.
It’s not like I won’t enjoy what I’d do at Atos. The training, however, is a super-duper waste of time. Partly because, I already know most of the stuff, and, there’s no one I can look up to in my training batch. I’ve sort of become the-know-all.
Now this is sad. Because I know that I’m not. And yet, I can’t do anything about it. I cannot exactly pursue what I want to do, because it would be inappropriate, and they don’t understand that my time, and therefore company resources are being wasted. I don’t know if I’ve doubted my decision of taking up Electrical ever all this much.
Another major issue is that I know that AOI isn’t going to be my life. I already feel sort of suffocated there. It’s the same old things. Sure, opportunities exist. And I will grab them, but the thing is, how much should I dedicate to them?
I fear that I’m losing my long term goals while trying to accomplish the near ones.
Or having the concept of long term goals, altogether.
Bloody pseudo-complacency. And yet the dissatisfaction.