Environmental Advantage
Simple example: At Atos, we have about 60-70% of the training batch from outside Mumbai. And I do not wish to blow any trumpets, or act snobbish, but the difference in the thought process, expectations from life, ambitions and goals, and in general the whole persona of most of the people from outside are wayyyy different from those here. Fortunately / unfortunately, in many cases, it is severely inferior.
I don’t want to portray how we, being born and brought up in Mumbai are better than them, because that is not the point. But it’s there. Sure, they will undergo all sorts of new training (including, but not limited to language enhancement), eventually adjust to Mumbai, and it’s extremely fast paced, and slightly pathetic, lifestyle, but we will always have that edge.
At this stage, I’m not entirely sure if that edge translates into anything at all. I mean, it’s not like they are going to pay me more because I hail from a relatively progressed part of the nation. Neither are they going to assign me a super hot project just because of that. (They may do that because of my other skills, which I may or may not have acquired because of my environment, but that’s not the issue at hand.)
So, in one sense, Atos is going a very good service to the nation by employing people from all over India, and training them to be on par, if not excel those who are already advantaged. The funny thing is, I am not feeling challenged, or bad about this. Which I usually would, because I’m somewhat of a selfish person, and someone taking over my turf normally does not go down with me. There may be two reasons to this: One, I may be super confident that no matter what, they will never be better than me. Or two, I understand and respect game theory, and genuinely want everyone to be good.
I really don’t know.
What I do know is that I should really be thankful to my parents, and just about everyone who has influenced me so far, provided me the environment that made me what I am today. I do hope that this environment persist, if not improve.
The biggest lesson to be learnt out of this: Ensure that your kids, your family, and just about everyone you care about gets this environment. Trust me, (yes, it is lame to trust me, but do try), it is absolutely important.
Then, as the bitter chocolate the follows the dinner, (and me being super analytical, cribby and all that), I come to think of what if scenarios. I mean, I’m not exactly at the top of the environment food chain. Nope. Never was. Then there are people who’ve had even bigger environmental advantages and boosts. Which is sad, cause I could have had those too.
Of course, there is no limit to what or how much of this super-charged environment I could have had, but you cannot help wonder. Sometimes, I feel that I should have gone to do my MS in the States (not that I can’t do it now), especially after listening to people rave about it. It was only a few days back that I spoke to my friend, and his words were: “It is exactly as you envisioned it, there is technology everywhere, what you dream of having in India, and tried doing, is already in place here, part of everyday life.” Sucks to me. Anywho.
So yea, I’ll refrain from being a hopeless romantic over here, but you can’t help it. Probably, going to the US will eventually give me an edge, that I currently don’t have.
And there are decisions that were not taken rightly, italics cause that rightly is a relative term. Like for example, me joining Chate Coaching Classes for my tenth. There are times when I wonder if I’d have done better without them. For that matter, I even feel that Agrawal’s wasn’t entirely good for me. What if I was staying in town instead of the ‘burbs? What if I were born in a richer family than I am now? What if I had two Nobel prize winning scientists as parents? Even better, what if I had one Noble prize winning scientist and another winner? What about my friends? I could have had better friends, I’m sure. Yea, sucks to the nth.
So what can be done? Take my CAT and MBA, for example. Sure, I’ll have an edge over almost 100% of India, if I get an MBA from one of the IIMs, but somehow I do not seem to realize it’s importance, which again is funny, because I do. I can’t explain, but, there’s something lacking. I mean, I’m not breaking my head over nailing CAT, far from it. But I do understand that life will be wayyyy different if I go do it right. The thing is, I can’t figure out why I can’t do it. Like write this post, instead of doing something a slightly more constructive.
You don’t want to go reading further.
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Sensible post ends above. What follows is out of line, unedited, and totally not relevant to the title. I was interrupted. And I lost my track. Sorry!
So, am I good, or am I average? Depends? Should I be good? Should I always get the advantage? Do I deserve the advantage?
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I think the even more fundamental issue is, I don’t know at this moment, what I want from life. Yes, I know it is supposedly ok to be that way, but then is it? And on par, if not even fundamental, is the issue, how do you know if what you want from life is the best compromise between what you can get and what you deserve? What if there’s something better? And in your reach? I hate this bargain.
Dad and I had a chat a few days back. The exact thing that brought it up was me not being satisfied with my new PC. (Yes, I got one new, and the following is going to be extremely understandable to Adi, since he knows the configuration). I mean, I probably at the moment have a reasonably fast machine, but just because one thing did not work out the way I wanted it to be, I was totally dis-satisfied. So much so that I was actually (and still am in some ways) thinking if I had a deal that made value and sense. I think I’m being too much of a perfectionist. Or I have weird idealistic ideas about the world.
So, how do I know if I have the best deal? How do I know that it was a win-win (and not just a win) bargain for everyone? Does anyone ever know?
I completely understand why HR never reveals what they are paying to the next lateral, or why parents should never really compare their kids with those of others. Because, get this, you are not comparable. It will only make you or your kid unhappy.
As an even simpler example, imagine you making the investment of your life. You think you have a pretty sweet deal (and you’ve researched it absolutely, leaving no source unchecked), and the moment you commit to the transaction, the evil devil comes along and tells you how you were swindled and the exact same investment can be had at half the amount you paid. How will you feel?
If you are anything like me, you are going to feel pathetic, lost, depressed, frustrated and the likes. But why? The amount you paid was value for you, wasn’t it? So what’s the problem now?
The problem is, the market forces reduced it’s value.
So what? It still is the same for you, isn’t it? Nothing different in the content.
But it doesn’t work that way. At least not for me. I still feel lousy.
I wonder what is going to happen when everything becomes searchable, and we will all know what the true value of anything is. Will everything go for a toss?
The thing is, even with life, this is always going to happen. And there’s no knowing it all in life (unless we go to the future and all that). What do I do then?
I think I should really learn to appreciate what I have, and while yes, yearn for more, the pining is something that should be done with. Be content.
“Sure, they will undergo all sorts of new training (including, but not limited to language enhancement), eventually adjust to Mumbai, and it’s extremely fast paced, and slightly pathetic, lifestyle, but we will always have that edge.”
And that is not all. When you realize that at the end of one year you still have much more than a lakh rupees in your bank because you dont pay for rent and food and landline phone calls, or that you can actually go out regularly with your family and you dont have to spend your own money every week to do something you like, or to catch a movie every weekend just so the weekend passes by quick…. you realize you have a bigger edge than you imagine.
Even more it is this edge that could actually degrade you - me, even. Take things for granted. Partly what led to me deciding to spend my own money for A) Petrol B) Cellphone bills C) Travelling (Railway pass and stuff) and any purchases for myself. The computer stuff we bought? I paid one third of the cash, coz I wanted a good comp at home without allowing my parents to spend more than a comp that was equivalent to the one from three years back and which was working just fine….
Its the edge that cuts both ways, re. and its the one thing you’ve got to watch out for most.
“…me not being satisfied with my new PC.”
I know that and believe you me, I know how that feels. its always the nitpicking that hurts. But at one point you *have* to decide that “I will be happy with 95% of the desired output” because the money/time graph versus job complete is exponential. The closer you get to 100% the more the resources eat into you (vice versa, yes, but they eat you as much as you eat them too).
Same advice I gave to Joy with his recording - he is a perfectionist with his music, he will try to refine till its death, and like mathematical function, it will always *tend to* 100 but not really get there. And I told him to stop when he thinks he’s hit 95 or 99 or whatever the tolerance is. Because it isnt worth breaking your head over the last bit.
“the evil devil comes along and tells you how you were swindled and the exact same investment can be had at half the amount you paid.”
Was that me telling your about the PC prices perchance?
A rule to live by: If you take a decision factoring all available data at the particular time, then not to regret taking that decision once its done. Even if the data is found to have changed later.
Makes life infinitely better worth living.
Easily the best post on your blog in its lifetime.
Comment by Aditya — 2006, Nov 04 @ 11:19
i m not too sure abt what exactly u were trying to convey- but here r a ffew reactions which may not make sense in totality- but reations nonetheless
1] [ref:chtae agrawal blah blah] i think we all have choices and we never know how things wud have been IFF we hadnt done this or had done that
BUT what can be controlled is that after having made a choice [right wrong- regardless- its the chocie YOU made] what we actually do about the choice we made
2][abt the superiority to non-mumbaities] attending a townie college - i met quite a few ppl who had the same atttiude and were too propah to admit but looked down upon us nevertheless. i think in my JC yrs- it made me feel totally out of place adn prolly very insecure too… but once we entered degree college- we realised that these babes are not cut for competition… the choices they made were easy ones- i think them having an ‘environmental advantage’ made them so lackadaisical [i think thats the word inthe word list not sure haan :p]
i think these guys except for the language and communication problems are way more adamant on getting it right
my mum is from a small town and she is way more open to new ideas adn so much more keen to learn than most ppl from bpomnbay- i duno where the idea of small town ppl being conservative comes from- i think the lack of opportunities they have- makes them always ready to catch on with whatever new they can learn
3] [smthng abotu uncertainity- i forgot what u had said] - it sucks i know- there is a lot of uncertainity and what nexts- but frankly- i dont want to wear blinders and move aheaad- id rather experiment and try and figure out things as they come along
aur bhi kuch likhna that but i forgot
ok
end of lecture
Comment by divi — 2006, Nov 04 @ 14:31
i re-read the comment and i think i got totlly lost but i DID have a point when i started to write
Comment by divi — 2006, Nov 04 @ 14:32
i generalised too much i i kn0w….
but i m not that judgemental haan
Comment by divi — 2006, Nov 04 @ 19:38
Firstly, sorry for the screwed up HTML, I am trying, but stupid thing won’t set up right.
@Adi: Thanks. And no, it hadn’t much to do with you telling me about the prices. But there are in general a lot of things where I should accept the decision made and move on, but it isn’t easy.
@Divi: No lecture at all. I am not looking down upon people from small towns or whatever. In fact, I was trying to highlight the same fact that because there are lack of opportunities, they are where they are. Also, the corporate world needs communication at a higher precedence than anything else. One more thing that probably needs clarification is this: Perspectives. I believe, and I may be wrong, that I have a better perspective (however screwed up and unsatisfying it may be) towards a lot of things than the next random person you can pick. But the thing is, I do know that there are others who have an even better one, and I completely understand that I cannot be complacent about mine. As for uncertainities, sure, they are here, but what I hate is the amount of regret that I have associated with my decisions. I just don’t seem to be satisfied with my choices. Heck, change, I must.
Comment by Hrishikesh — 2006, Nov 08 @ 23:34