As I lay to sleep yeserday, and was running through the events of the day, with Swapneel now at Torino for the Winter Olympics (not for the games, as an IT hell desk courtesy Atos Origin) and the project and college reopening and stuff like that, this comes to my head:
Someone must be making all those sex-toys that they tout in my face every day I open my inbox. I mean, seriously, everything from surveys, design, conception (pun intended), planning, manufacturing / production, quality assurance, sales and support, they must have it all!
I mean, look at the situation here… So when someone asks you, you tell them what? “I work at the sex-toys factory”? Hilarious.
And then how do they go about designing new products? CEO: “Well, I have this irresistible desire… Gimme some clay, and I’ll see what satisfies me.” And bang, here comes a new product!
What about quality assurance? How does one do that here? Material tests? Actual use (eeeks!)? Animal testing? Do they subject it to stress testing? Like how? Give it to a baby elephant or something? This is too funny.
“Welcome to XXX toys. My name is Sophia. How may I help you?”
“Well, I have this um.. Er… Ah… Problem.”
“Yes, sir, what seems to be the problem?”
“Well, it’s kind of a guy thing… No offense, but can I speak to someone of the other sex?”
Another way:
“So ma’am, what happened?”
“Well, I was using the total vibra suite 2006 and suddenly it stopped working!”
“Are you sure the batteries are ok?”
“Fuck, what do you take me for?”
“Ma’am, just calm down… Can you please check?”
“Calm down? WTF? I mean, it gives up on me, at the moment… This is so frustrating…”
“Maybe the buttons… Check the remote…”
“I’m never buying one of your products… They are no different than the real thing!”
BTW, there’s this very freak other industry, that manufactures stuff that runs off blue tooth… Complete with software that can run on your phone, so that you can give yourself, or your partner, minutes of pleasure with your phone… Just don’t let it get hacked into… And yes, they now have it for the iPod as well… With 71 total vibrating combinations, so the music really lives in you!