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2005, Dec 31

2006: Now in Sight & Other Gross Things

Filed under: Uncategorized — Hrishikesh @ 10:00

Wish you all a very happy and prosperous new year. May all your wishes come true… Obviously, that is not possible, but then, who cares?
 
===============
 
A list of stupid gross things. Standard disclaimer applies, you were forewarned.
  • In India, pre-marital sex is still considered a taboo of sorts, and most of the newly weds are virgins. The first honeymoon night after the wedding is considered to be the day the relationship is consummated. I was just wondering, what if the gal is having her periods?
  • Sagar says: I saw this one girl build a sand castle on the beach. And a dog comes along and decides to pee on it. Then, every dog that followed also peed on the sand castle.
  • Srikhand with fried fish
I would have come up with more, but I’m bored!
 
===============
 
On second thoughts, this post never existed. Poof!

2006: Now in Sight & Other Gross Things

Filed under: Uncategorized — Hrishikesh @ 10:00

Wish you all a very happy and prosperous new year. May all your wishes come true… Obviously, that is not possible, but then, who cares?
 
===============
 
A list of stupid gross things. Standard disclaimer applies, you were forewarned.
  • In India, pre-marital sex is still considered a taboo of sorts, and most of the newly weds are virgins. The first honeymoon night after the wedding is considered to be the day the relationship is consummated. I was just wondering, what if the gal is having her periods?
  • Sagar says: I saw this one girl build a sand castle on the beach. And a dog comes along and decides to pee on it. Then, every dog that followed also peed on the sand castle.
  • Srikhand with fried fish
I would have come up with more, but I’m bored!
 
===============
 
On second thoughts, this post never existed. Poof!

2005, Dec 27

Censor: Rated U?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Hrishikesh @ 23:55

Been to Pune on a brief trip – a wedding was on the cards.
 
While coming back, they showed this stupid totally crappy Hindi movie, Koi Anjana Sa (or something to that effect) in our coach. It was a Balaji Telefilms production, and that should tell you in great detail about the film quality. (For the uninitiated, google for Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi and Ekta Kapoor.) I had no alternative but to watch it; it’d not go away even though I tried to block it with my earphones!
 
Anyway, so this movie is rated U, or open to all.
 
And it has a rape scene. No flesh or anything is shown, but the act is pretty much portrayed.
 
That’s the funny part: The man takes off his shirt, loosens his belt, but does not take off his pants, and neither does he undress the girl in any way except taking off her dupatta. I wonder if they do it some other way… Or is it only dry humping! (That can’t be it, because she does indeed get pregnant later on, which brings a lot of stupid things in itself, and I’ll refrain from going there as this post is not about the film.)
 
The point in consideration is that how is the movie rated U? It should atleast be a U/A (or PG in the American Censor Board terms). Or is our censor board of the view that if they don’t take off their clothes, nothing really happened, and the kids will not understand what’s happening. (Actually, they very well do, they always do!) Only if bare flesh is portrayed in some form, will they wake up?
 
Maybe the censor board is a skin tone detection machine! Anything down below the inner thighs is okay, so long as it’s not in a rape scene, where you need to wear full clothes, and the rape can be symbolic, with just the dupatta being taken away. Happens in almost every family film… Pardes had it as well… I’m sure there will be more, I don’t watch as many Hindi movies, so…
 
Double standards… Hypocrites…
 
And frankly, who the hell cares? The internet makes it all very easy anyway.

Censor: Rated U?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Hrishikesh @ 23:55

Been to Pune on a brief trip – a wedding was on the cards.
 
While coming back, they showed this stupid totally crappy Hindi movie, Koi Anjana Sa (or something to that effect) in our coach. It was a Balaji Telefilms production, and that should tell you in great detail about the film quality. (For the uninitiated, google for Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi and Ekta Kapoor.) I had no alternative but to watch it; it’d not go away even though I tried to block it with my earphones!
 
Anyway, so this movie is rated U, or open to all.
 
And it has a rape scene. No flesh or anything is shown, but the act is pretty much portrayed.
 
That’s the funny part: The man takes off his shirt, loosens his belt, but does not take off his pants, and neither does he undress the girl in any way except taking off her dupatta. I wonder if they do it some other way… Or is it only dry humping! (That can’t be it, because she does indeed get pregnant later on, which brings a lot of stupid things in itself, and I’ll refrain from going there as this post is not about the film.)
 
The point in consideration is that how is the movie rated U? It should atleast be a U/A (or PG in the American Censor Board terms). Or is our censor board of the view that if they don’t take off their clothes, nothing really happened, and the kids will not understand what’s happening. (Actually, they very well do, they always do!) Only if bare flesh is portrayed in some form, will they wake up?
 
Maybe the censor board is a skin tone detection machine! Anything down below the inner thighs is okay, so long as it’s not in a rape scene, where you need to wear full clothes, and the rape can be symbolic, with just the dupatta being taken away. Happens in almost every family film… Pardes had it as well… I’m sure there will be more, I don’t watch as many Hindi movies, so…
 
Double standards… Hypocrites…
 
And frankly, who the hell cares? The internet makes it all very easy anyway.

2005, Dec 25

The Dark Side of Martha Stewart’s Living

Filed under: Uncategorized — Hrishikesh @ 00:47

I can’t help it, it’s that good:
“I mean, it’s like you go to somebody’s house for Thanksgiving and they’ve spent eighteen hours covering the rooms with little orange squashes and quinces and crepe paper, and the meal is like Henry the Eighth, and you can’t eat because you get this creepy sick feeling that the person who did the dinner has nothing else to do with their life. It’s the dark side of Martha Stewart’s Living.”
Of course, this one is also from the Microserfs.

The Dark Side of Martha Stewart’s Living

Filed under: Uncategorized — Hrishikesh @ 00:47

I can’t help it, it’s that good:
“I mean, it’s like you go to somebody’s house for Thanksgiving and they’ve spent eighteen hours covering the rooms with little orange squashes and quinces and crepe paper, and the meal is like Henry the Eighth, and you can’t eat because you get this creepy sick feeling that the person who did the dinner has nothing else to do with their life. It’s the dark side of Martha Stewart’s Living.”
Of course, this one is also from the Microserfs.

2005, Dec 22

Waving at trains

Filed under: Uncategorized — Hrishikesh @ 22:21

From the Microserfs:
Q: “Why it is that people wave at trains?”

A: “We wave at people in trains because their lives – their cores – are so intensely and powerfully reflected in the inexorable, unstoppable roaring dreams of motion and voyage and discovery, which trains embody. One can’t help but admire the power and brutality and singularity of decision a moving train implies. Wouldn’t you agree, Mr. Underwood?”

There are so many fine sparky parts in the book. Sheerly amazing!

The Binary Soup

Filed under: Uncategorized — Hrishikesh @ 01:37

101011111111111000101010111000
010101110101010100101010101000
000000011111111010101010101010
101010101010101010101010101010
101111101000000001111110101110
001110010101011110000011100101
110011110001010101010101111111
101010111101010100001101001100
Well, there isn’t much variety here, is there?

2005, Dec 20

How to best spend Rs. 20K

Filed under: Uncategorized — Hrishikesh @ 01:33

Suggestions are now invited for the best way to spend Rs. 20000.
 
Stuff that can be had:
  • A brand new video iPod
  • 4 x 200 GB 7200 rpm SATA HDDs
  • DVD Writer + 300 blank DVD-Rs
  • Holiday for a couple in Goa (well, I’d need to hunt for a girlfriend before that!)
  • Half a bike
  • 20000 minutes of talk time
  • 20 each of Sea-Breeze, Sex-on-the-beach, Black-Russian, Bloody-Mary and Pinacolada
  • 512 kbps internet connection for a year
  • 2 shares of Google (GOOG on the NYSE)
  • 200 movie tickets
  • Platinum jewellery for someone special
  • 2000 packs of Maggi
  • NVIDIA 6800 512 MB PCI-X video card with SLI
  • One year membership to a lifestyle club
  • 20 hours with a prime-time hooker
  • 200K in 30 years
  • 20 happy underprivileged kids
  • A start-up
There’s a lot more that can be had. Dream big. Or small. What say?

2005, Dec 14

Wag the Dog

Filed under: Uncategorized — Hrishikesh @ 02:25

This one is going to be a real shortie:
 
Q: Why does a dog wag its tail?
A: Because the dog is smarter than its tail.
 
If the tail would be smarter, it would have wagged the dog.
 
Now, this works on so many levels, I just cannot begin to list them all down. Those interested, there’s a movie by the same name. Go check it out. Plus, Mark Knopfler did the music for it, so it’s pretty nice.

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